I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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