I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize