The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Randomize
