"it" just moved
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Randomize