I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
