Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Randomize
