no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
