Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
