just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
