Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
