I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
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