Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Buhtt sex?
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
You made out with two different species that night
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Randomize
