You don't have asthma, your pregnant
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Randomize
