I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
