I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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