As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
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