Soap is not a condiment
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
