question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
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