Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize