I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
