Me. At least after what I've been through.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
