Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
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