It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize
