I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Randomize
