dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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