I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Randomize
