I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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