Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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