This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Randomize
