They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
