and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
