Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Randomize
