I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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