My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Randomize
