i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Randomize
