Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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