D3 body, D1 cock
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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