remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
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