My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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