she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize
