how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
