You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
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