Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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