I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
