someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
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