i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
your room smells of hookers.
And success
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
