bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Randomize
