didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
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