Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
