im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
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