Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Randomize
