Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Randomize
