it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
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