And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
