brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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