Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
