During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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