Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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