sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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