He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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