I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
