I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Randomize
