Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize
