You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
...so i touched it.
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
