This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Randomize
