Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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